Why We Chose to Foster: A Letter to Our Village
Posted on 4/30/2025 by Jean Martinez
Tags: foster care, family, parenting, LGBTQ+, trauma-informed care
When we first told people we were becoming foster parents, the reactions ranged from, “That’s amazing!” to “Isn’t that going to be really hard?” And they were right—on both counts.
Foster care isn’t simple or clean. It’s not a savior story. It’s not about being saints. It’s about showing up.
It’s about getting a phone call at 11 p.m. for a child you’ve never met.
It’s about sitting in courtrooms and school offices, advocating when no one else does.
It’s about building trust with a child who’s been told not to trust anyone.
And yes, it’s about loving them—sometimes with the full knowledge that they may leave.
Why Foster?
Because we believe in family. Not the picture-perfect kind—but the kind where healing happens. Where kids get to feel safe. Where they know they matter.
We chose to foster not because we had everything figured out, but because we were willing to learn, to grow, and to open our home and hearts to children who need both.
What We Want You to Know
This journey isn’t just ours—it includes everyone around us. Our friends, our extended family, our community. That means we need support, patience, and a willingness to learn alongside us.
When you see us tired, know it’s from fighting for someone’s future.
When you don’t know what to say, just be kind.
When you want to help, ask how.
This Blog Is for You
We’ll use this space to share pieces of our foster journey: the real, the raw, the redemptive. Not every story can be told (we will fiercely protect our kids’ privacy), but we’ll offer glimpses of what it means to foster, and how you can walk with us.
To everyone who has offered a meal, a ride, a listening ear—thank you.
To those learning how to talk about trauma, identity, and family with sensitivity—thank you.
To the ones simply cheering us on—thank you.
We couldn’t do this without our village.
Want to stay connected? Subscribe below or follow us on Instagram @fostered_inlove as we continue learning, growing, and loving through foster care.
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